My mother,who let me alone to grow freely

2015-11-20 11:40:36
The author’s mother is a math teacher and responsible to all her students while her plums blossoms everywhere.But to her own daughter,she holds an attitude of letting alone.But after reading the story,you will know that her mother is not irresponsible to her.Actually,it’s a tacit agreement and a piece of trust deep down inside the heart of the mother and daughter.We choose this article not in purpose of regarding it as a paradigm.Every child is unique,it varies from person to person to educate their child.Equality,respect and trust should be the characteristic of all good parents.
My mother’s zero education to me
My mother is a middle school teacher.I have a younger sister,who is just one grade lower than me,I am Junior Three so my sister Junior Two.My sister’s class teacher always complains to my mother,”You child always leaves her homework alone and you should talk with her about it.”Mother doesn’t do anything about it,just giving some math tests to her every few days according to her text book.When she finds that she has already got all the knowledge in the class,she doesn’t say too many things about the homework.Meeting such kinds of parents,teachers have no idea but just being angry.
In high school,my grades are floating all the time.Sometimes I can be the top of the class,when I am in bad state,I can be last few ones.There was once I did terribly bad in my exam that I was ashamed of raising my head.When I was home,I went to my room despondently.My mother came and asking about my performance in the tests.It was too hard for me to tell the truth that I just told her not to ask me any more but I promised that I would tell her the next time.What I mean is that I will do better next time.Mother answered in smile,”Fine,I look forward to your good news.”With mother’s trust and expectation I just feel embarrassed that I regard that only my hard-working will pay.Then in the final exam I actually have improved for dozens of scores.
When I grow up and remember this thing,I suddenly realized that my teacher was my mother’s student and she would know anything if she wanted.Even if she didn’t ask,my teacher would tell my mother.She wouldn’t know that I did that bad in that exam.My mother,how can she be so patient and tolerant that she kept it as a secret?That’s how my mother maintained my self-esteem.
When I was in my Senior Two,most parents do not allow their child to watch TV or listen to the music due to the pressure of college entrance examination.At that time,A Dream in Red Mansions was hot broadcasting on TV.I bet I was the luckiest guy of the whole class because after the night classes,I can rush to home and enjoy two episodes of A Dream in Red Mansions.Affacted by the TV series,I started to red A Dream in Red Mansions,one or two chapters a day.When study came to the most nervous moment,I not only started to read wildly about masterworks,I even brought the Popular movies to the classroom.It is those privileges that had never been enjoyed by other kids and were never deprived by my mother.
When I was in university,my mother mentioned about me reading magazine in the classroom by accidents.She said that my head teacher had talked about this stuff with her several times and ask her to teach me hard.But my mother didn’t say anything to me and let me do what I want.I was so surprised that I wonder why she wasn’t angry and criticized me.On the contrary,she had to hold all the pressure about my teacher complaining to her.My mother answered calmly,”I regard reading anything can harvest,no matter what book it is.There is no need to deprive it.”
When I grow up,every time I remember this matter,I am full of emotional thoughts and with inexplicable gratitude inside my heart.Due to my mother’s leaving alone,there isn’t any chagrin from my childhood to puberty and no repression to any of my interests,so when I face the world(including when I was blamed by teachers in school) everything to me was dauntless.A lot of my friends tag me as easy facing life’s trouble.No shadow would leave on me.That’s exactly the achievements of my mother’s education---no blaming.But my mother may know nothing about this.She was just doing what a good mother should do.
The outrageous thing is on the day of College Entrance Examination.On that day,all the kids became the untouchable tiger.Almost all the parents would get up early to make a hearty breakfast for their child.But my mother,regard it as an usual day,she prepared last night’s leftovers for me.Before I go,she didn’t say anything and see me off alone just as usual.When I finished my first exam,I saw my father waiting outside the playground worryingly.
Later I know that mother has given much thought to it although it seems that she is careless.Since my parents acted as usual and no intense psychology was pressured on I was relaxed and wasn’t nervous and did an extraordinary performance and was admitted to a desirable university.
Due to my mother’s leaving alone,I have always been living self-willed and sometimes did something beyond routine but I have never been blamed by my mother.On the contrary,I have her utmost support.When I was a sophomore,I felt staying in university boring so I wanted to quit and be a baby-sitter,At that time ,my mother was doing a breast cancer operation,she didn’t acting fierce,just listening to me quietly about me describing my beautiful and unreliable future.A few days later,dad talked with me,”You see,your mother doesn’t feel well these days.I regard that you’d better pick another time to leave school.”Dad’s mild and sincere tone made me throw away that willful thought for the moment.
After graduation,I did my best and found a job in Yanji(for a student with Korean nationality,it is difficult as well as urgent like the situation that contemporary students want to stay in beijing,it is the same for Korean students to have their registered permanent residence to stay in Yanji).While I was a teacher,I was temporarily transfered to the newspaper office as a part-time journalist,which was worthy everybody envying at that time.But after I have worked for almost a year,I cannot stand the ugly side of social people there and felt discouraged and sad and regarded life as meaningless.I wanted to become a nun or go wandering until my death.I didn’t say anything to my parents and quitted my job and went to my hometown to bid a final farewell to my parents before I went wandering.That was the first time when my parents were anxious but they were still talking to me in a mild tone.After those useless persuasion,mother came along with the telephone number and address of teachers and classmates in university years ago,she said,”If you have no else to go,just go and ask help from them.”I knew I wouldn’t go to them for help,but I still hold it in my hand since I knew it would make mom feel comfortable.
It was my parents that saw me off that day at the train station.My mother's hair was in a mess in the wind.The sunset was shining in their back with a round of golden yellow.I couldn’t see their faces but I could feel their dismal and grieved emotion,which was similar with child going to the battle field.At that moment,I suddenly realized that my parents were already old and my tears came down unconsciously.
In fact,I didn’t keep wandering all the time.When I stopped in Beijing I was attracted by its lively and tolerant atmosphere.However,I still lived like a wanderer.At that time,I didn’t own a steady job and was busy enjoying poverty in Summer Palace but that seemed utopia for me and I felt happy.During those days,my mother would send me letters and said that she would be satisfied as long as I could be happy.When I got married,my husband was a poor painter,mother only asked me one question,”Will you still go with him if he needs to beg for food?”I said yes.My mother only said,”Then you just marry him.”That’s just my mother,she would respect my choice all the time,.Once I’ve made a choice,no matter whether it caters to my mother’s expectation,she would stand by me and be my strongest supporter.
I was too self-willed and too naive that I always had no idea about where my next meal was,not to mention that I would make money to show filial piety to my parents.When I think about it now,I felt how my mother would feel anxious and worried about me.But my mother never showed those things and always said to me calmly,”I trust you” or “It is OK as long as you are happy.”Those love are invisible but truly existed,of which allow me to live freely with no pressure.
My mother was a math teacher,but my math grades were always lingering around 60.Not only for study,when I was little,my hair was always taken care of by my father.Though my mother treated me the way of leaving alone,she was 100% into her students.I still remembered it clearly that our home was the temporaory canteen and dormitory for my mom’s students.One of her students became the 1st undergraduate that ever being admitted to a key university.It was such a big deal in my hometown,Tonghua,northeast of China,which was not a center for Koreans,so the school of Korean was always being regarded as a marginal school with little mother became the only one winner who taught in Korean School in our county to be honored as “National Labor Medal”.
After that award,all kinds of awards were coming one after another.One day,my naive mother came home talking to my dad,”They want me to be the vice county magistrate.Do you have any suggestions?”Father,who knew mother best,said”Things and people are so complicated in the government and you are too pure to stay there.”So my mother refused this invitation and kept being a good teacher in her school.You just cannot figure our how many and how desperate people wanted that job!
Except when facing students,my mother knew nothing of humaine.When I was little,I always saw my mother coming back talking her grievance to dad, “They say I work so hard for those awards.In fact,I have never thought about that,I just wanted to be a good teacher.I’ve told the leaders many times.No need to honor me records.But they just don’t listen.”Mother was just like a little girl.Though I was a child then,I often regard mother as “lovely”.
Celebration of sixty years old was important for people of Korean Nationality.My father and mother just informed some relatives,not one students at all.But that day,a huge number of students came.Students of one class after another class came to toast and offer celebrations to my mother.The oldest student was already having white hair.At that moment,eyes of people on spot were all wet.It is possible that mother would be most happy person who had such a birthday.
Mother was busy educating kids of other’s.To her own children,she almost had never had a serious-minded education.Maybe,it is her “zero education” that allowed me to grow freely and wildly and enjoy my unique adventurous life with no sense of repression.,never bothered by strict management.That’s I can completely be myself and keep a mild and optimistic life attitude.From my mother,I’ve learned to respect people,bear things and encourage others,look forward to things and keep a calm attitude to things,be strong and learn the wisdom of loving others in the wisdom of love.